1. What's your favorite piece of clothing that you currently own? A t-shirt with the prototypical caricature of Shakespeare. The word balloon says, "I ventured forth to Stratford, and lo, my meagre recompense was this mere tunic."

2. What piece of clothing do you most want to acquire? A Match Game windbreaker that actually fits. They pop up on eBay all the time, but all seem to be medium.

3. What piece of clothing can you not bring yourself to get rid of? Why? My Acacia fraternity t-shirt and 3/4-sleeve baseball shirt from college. The letters (sewn on) are falling off and the shirts are faded, plus I never wear them any more, but I can't throw them out. Plus my Boned Zone shirt from college, which is pretty much in the same shape.

4. What piece of clothing do you look your best in? Karen would say my black polo shirt and a very old pair of faded jeans. I don't think I can wear the jeans in public anymore; they have too many rips. I couldn't fit into them again until earlier this year.

5. What has been your biggest fashion accident? This is a vivid memory. The last school day before Christmas vacation, 1974: my mom, busy with other things, hadn't had the time to do laundry. So, with very few school clothes to wear, she made what she thought was a match: a black-and-gold hockey shirt (Boston Bruins, with no logo) and a yellow-and-white plaid pair of polyester pants. I protested I looked ridiculous, but she said I was wrong and sent me on my way. The teasing at school was merciless; even the teachers snickered. After I got home and told her loud and long about what happened (she said they didn't know what they were talking about, to which I responded, "Every single person I saw today was wrong?", I wrested all clothing choices out of my mother's hands. To this day, my choices are pretty conservative, but they work.